How to Be Cheerful and Kind

Cheerfulness and kindness come from the heart. Here are some ways to draw out these wonderful qualities.

Steps :

1. Be comfortable in your own skin. Take a really good look at yourself and make note of the good side of yourself.

2. Help someone who is in need.

3. Learn how to have good manners and be polite.

4. Look on the bright side, but be honest.

5. Listen to both sides of things and listen carefully.

6. Keep an open mind.

7. Be encouraging and don’t put people down.

8. Never judge too harshly. You never know if you’ll be in that position someday and need a friend. Be a friend.

9. Look people in the eye and smile. It makes you feel good too!

Tips :

- Include everyone in whatever you’re doing, like if you’re playing basketball and there’s a quiet shy kid in the corner, ask the kid if they want to join in.

- Don’t be negative, cynical, or deceitful.

- Always be sure to smile.

- Get out of the house. Sometimes being alone is good but loneliness can consume you. Take a bike ride in the sun or ask a friend out for coffee.

- Smile at everyone you meet and make eye-contact. Remember positive breeds positive and negative breeds negative.

- Listen to your mind some of the time, and your heart all of the time.

Warnings :

- Cheerfulness is often mistaken for being fake. Don’t talk in little high voices and pretend to be perfect. You’ll just end up annoying everybody.

- Be careful; with the opposite sex, sometimes kindness can be misconstrued as a come on. Make sure your intentions are clear, if unwanted.

- Don’t consume too much alcohol too often. You may later regret something you may have done or said to someone. Keep a clear mind.

How to Ask for a Phone Number

If you meet someone who you would like to see again, don’t be shy, ask for their phone number! If you feel like you can’t quite rustle up the courage, try this approach.

Steps :

1. Approach the person whose phone number you want. If you have met them before, use their name as you get close. “Hi Isabel! How have you been?” If you don’t know them, ask someone you know for an introduction.

2. Start a conversation with him or her. This works whether or not you have already been introduced. Don’t try to be witty or impressive, just be yourself.

3. Keep it warm, friendly, but brief. You don’t want to monopolize their time.

4. Wind up the conversation by saying the following: “Hey, I don’t want to hold you up. Can I call you sometime and we can chat more?”

5. Keep moving! If the person urges you to stay and talk longer, then do so at their request. Don’t end the conversation, get their number, and then stand around.

6. Call them in a few days, even if you just leave a message saying “Hi, I just wanted to say how nice it was to see you the other day, and I’m looking forward to seeing you again. I’ll try you again, or please feel free to call me.”

7. Make sure you leave your name and phone number.

8. Keep smiling in the event of a rejection, and say “OK, well here, I’ll give you mine. I’d love to hear from you again.”

9. Give them your number and name written neatly on something noticeable like a brightly-colored napkin. Don’t use a torn scrap of receipt from your wallet.

Tips :

- Go for it – you will never have any success if you don’t try.

- A compliment is always a nice way to lead into a chat. Be honest though. Don’t say you like their green shoes if you really think they’re horrible.

-  Offer your phone number instead of asking for theirs. Women feel safer by not giving others their phone number.

- If you don’t have a lot of your friends’ phone numbers you can ask them for their phone number first then go up to her and tell her “Hey, I’m asking everyone for their phone number, can I have yours?”

Warnings :

- Nowhere is it written that the person you are talking to has to give you the number you want. Don’t ask more than once, and leave them alone if they say no.

How to Act Like You Care

This is important when you find yourself having a conversation about something you do not care about.

Steps :

1. The first thing that you should do is make sure that you are having eye contact.

2. Secondly, you should nod a lot and pretend like you are interested in what they are saying.

3. The third thing that you should make sure that you are doing is smile periodically.

4. The fourth thing you should always do is say, “Oh really? Wow…”, and “Yeah…” a lot.

5. It’s also useful, during the course of the conversation, to hinge very short questions off of what could be an important word in what they just said. If they say “…vacation to Hawaii..”, you’ll look like you’re paying more attention if you respond with “Hawaii?” even though you weren’t really listening.

6. Finally, when they are finished talking, explain how you hate to leave and you really enjoyed talking about whatever it was they were talking about.

Tips :

- Avoid talking to your boss about their personal life.

- Try smiling and nodding. Its simple and always looks like you are paying attention. You can throw in a ‘mhm’ ‘hm’ from time to time.

Warnings :

- Have a sincere face on at all times.

- Make sure you don’t smile when they are talking about something negative. Keep your ear out for shifts in their story.

How to Come up With Good Conversation Topics

Many people find it hard to come up with good conversation topics. In this article we will discuss some ways that may help you get over the hump.

Steps :

1. Find out what your conversation partner is interested in. Sometimes this is hard to do, but is not impossible. The best way to do this is by looking at their clothing and their eyes. By doing this, you may be able to tell what type of person they are, and if they are shy or not.

2. Choose a topic that holds your interest, and that you know a lot about. You want to be secure in what you are saying to the other person. You want them to see that confidence, and to feel at ease with you rather than you passing your nervousness onto them. Not to mention, picking a topic that you know a lot about will make them perceive you to be more intelligent, and more of a leader.

3. Come up with something that you and the people surrounding you might have in common. A lot of good conversations start on so-called “common ground”. Sometimes even the smallest things like you both liking the same food, the same music, and etc, can help you to be able to start a conversation that lasts for hours on end. It helps you to come up with lots of good conversation topics. Another good thing is sometimes you can learn from each other when one might have strong points, where the other one does not.

4. Once you have decided on a mutually interested topic, google it to enhance your knowledge base.

5. Remember you’ll never run out of things to say, as long as you’re curious about something.

How to Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk About

Whether you are a host or a guest, there are many social situations that will call for interaction, even when you are stumped for some way to get it going. For example, you might want to help a friend’s new “significant other” feel comfortable. Or, you might see a stranger across a crowded room, and realize that this is your only chance to impress Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. Then, you realize that you’re not sure what to say.

Tips :

1. Start with a “hello,” and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his or her responding to you. If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step-2.

2.  Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there’s something unusual about it–bam!–you’ve got a great topic of conversation.

3. Offer a compliment. Don’t lie and say you love someone’s hair when you think it’s revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person’s looks or body.

4. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves — get them going. “What classes are you taking this year?” “Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?” Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.

5. And another thing, do not ask any question about yourself, because that will most likely make the conversation about you, and people don’t like that either.

6. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don’t let it go by without notice.

7. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don’t stare). Also, use the person’s name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person’s attention to what you are talking about.

Tips :

- Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you’re making isn’t going to stick out in anyone’s mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it’s not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you’re attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)

- Remember, if you think of something in your head while you’re talking, it’s probably related.

- It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot — newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world. If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.

- Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.

- Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about.

- If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can’t come up with a good topic, try the “questions” game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example “How do you know the hosts?” This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.

- Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.

- Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about

Warnings :

- Don’t be overly invasive with questions.

- Don’t use tons of fillers like “umm” or “soo”. It might make the person you’re talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your partner more invested in your conversation.

- Don’t desperately ask personal questions.

- Keep eye-contact.

- Don’t ever comment negatively on the person or someone’s looks… you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing.

How to Get to Know Someone

No one said making friends was easy, but follow this simple guide and, before you know it, you could bloom into a social butterfly. Getting to know someone is the first step and this will help you achieve your goals…

Tips :

1. Ask questions that require more than a one-word response. You do not want to put the other person in a position to be able to say YES or NO. Instead of saying “are you going away this weekend?” ask “where are you going this weekend?” Now the person will probably answer with a location, for example, the beach. Now you have something else to talk about! The beach, silly……

2. Keep conversations active by listening and responding physically. Nod you head. Display appropriate facial expressions. Smile. Look your new friend right smack in the eye.

3. Don’t forget to respond verbally too. Show an interest in what the other person is saying. If your new friend is interested in something you know nothing about…….Shakespeare, for example, ASK about it. Why was Shakespeare so famous? What plays did that guy write, again? What century did he live in? Convince yourself that you want to know, and soon you will be having a very engaging conversation.

4. Plan activities that allow you to spend quality time together. Making consistent contact with the other person – either by phone, e-mail, or in person – lets them know that you enjoy their company.

5. Be honest about your own interests and opinions. This will help the other person get to know you as well.

6. Keep their interest, tell them the most interesting things about yourself and your family and your likes and dislikes.

7. Offer to share something nice. Like cookies.

Tips :

- People are drawn to those who look like they are enjoying life, so look the part…….don’t forget that winning smile.

- Be yourself. Don’t be a poser.

Warnings :

- Don’t ask extremely personal questions or reveal personal information about yourself that might make the other person uncomfortable. If this person is right for you, there will be plenty of time for this later.

- Take a hint; if you can tell the person is tired of talking to you , for example, looking away, gazing off into the distance, giving curt answers etc. then STOP! Just excuse yourself and go find something else to do.

- There are some people you don’t want to get to know. If you discover a certain person is not for you, then just leave the conversation politely.

- Never, ever say “Tell me about yourself” this puts the person on the spot and makes them uncomfortable, unless they really like to hear themselves talk, but don’t take that chance.

How to Start a Conversation With Someone on the Train, Bus or Subway

Have you ever wanted to talk to an attractive person on the bus or train but ended up waiting too long and letting him or her get away? Follow these steps to quickly spark a conversation the next time you’re smitten, and never lose the love of your life (or at least the love of the week) again.

Steps :

1. Understand the environment. Nobody wants to be on public transportation. Everyone is just trying to get from point A to point B, and they may get off the bus, train, or subway at the next stop. Thus you can’t hesitate if you’re going to talk to someone. Keep in mind that few people actually want to talk to strangers on their trip, but some will, especially if you seem nice and interesting. Be decisive, but don’t be aggressive.

2. Carry a prop. Bring some reading material that you can pretend to read. It will make you feel and appear more comfortable. Don’t wear headphones unless you want to appear unapproachable. However you do not want to look like the guy in the picture. Every girl will probably run away and scream.

3. Scope out the situation. OK, so someone has caught your eye. Before you try to initiate a conversation, make sure they’re not with their significant other. If they’re with anyone at all, proceed with caution, but remember, their companion may just be a friend or relative, or he or she may be a complete stranger who has the same idea that you do.

4. Position yourself for success. If you see the person while at the bus stop or train station, wait until he or she gets on the bus or train before trying to converse. Follow them in discreetly and sit opposite them if possible. You’ll have a good chance to make eye contact this way, and besides, you might appear somewhat invasive if you sit down next to them. If they’re standing, stand near enough to them to be able to speak with them, but don’t get too close for comfort.

5. Try to make eye contact. Making brief eye contact can show the person that you’re interested and help you gauge whether he or she is interested in you. Glance at the person (don’t stare) and try to hold their gaze for just a second or two. Then look away. Try to make eye contact again after about 30 seconds. If the person makes eye contact with you again, they probably find you attractive. Don’t be too obvious, but make sure the person can see that you’re looking at them. If they can’t see you, you can’t expect them to make eye contact.

6. Smile when making eye contact the second time. A small, but genuine smile makes you appear interested, friendly, and approachable. If the other person smiles back, you’re probably in luck.

7. Use appropriate body language. Don’t cross your arms or turn away from the person. Make yourself appear open and comfortable, and exhibit good (but not freakishly good) posture. Don’t look at your watch or a clock constantly, as it will give the impression that you are in a hurry and the person might not talk to you, because they don’t want to bother you.

8. Read the person’s body language. If he or she exhibits open body language toward you, that’s a great sign. If the person turns away or buries his or her head in a book, that’s not so good.

9. Ask the person a question. A question is a great way to start a conversation, but not just any question will do. Ask an open-ended question that requires more than a “yes” or “no” answer. For example, ask, “How do you get to the Eiffel Tower?” instead of “Does this bus stop at the Eiffel Tower?” What you ask isn’t really important, as long as it’s not invasive, insulting or inane, e.g. the Eiffel Tower questions might seem dumb in New York.

10. Keep conversing. Listen attentively to the person’s response to your question and then just make small talk. If the person is interested in you, the conversation will probably flow fairly naturally (unless he or she is shy) and you may be able to get a phone number or email address. If the person isn’t interested, you’ll probably be able to tell pretty quickly.

Tips :

- If the person makes eye contact and displays positive body language, but you can’t get up the nerve to talk to him or her or you have to get off at the next stop, write down your phone number or email address on a piece of paper (a newspaper will work), smile at the person as you get off the bus or train, and hand them the piece of paper. If the person calls or sends you a note, great. If not, no big deal. Keep in mind that this is a very low-percentage approach, so don’t expect a call. If you have time, it’s best to just muster the courage to talk to the person.

- If the person is sitting and you’re standing, position yourself so that your crotch isn’t in the person’s face.

- It can take some courage to actually talk to a stranger on the bus or train, but remember that this is really an ideal situation. If the person isn’t interested, you probably won’t see them again, and even if you do, you can just sit far away from them.

- If a person hunches over or turns away from you, or if he or she fails to make good eye contact, they’re probably not interested, but not necessarily so. Some people are just shy, and public transportation tends to accentuate this shyness. Don’t expect much from a person who shows negative body language toward you, but at the same time don’t assume he or she is not interested. If you’re particularly brave, take a chance.

- If you get shot down and feel embarrassed, just get off at the next stop and board the next bus or train. Maybe someone else will catch your eye. If so, try again. Even if someone might be interested in you in other situations, they might not feel like talking on their commute, or they might be preoccupied. Don’t take rejection personally.

- When making eye contact, keep your facial expression light and friendly, rather than straight and serious.

- Look for a ring. Look to see if your potential paramour is wearing a wedding or (if they’re a woman) an engagement ring. If they’re wearing a ring (ring finger of left hand) they’re off limits. If they wanted you to approach them, they would have left their ring at home on the dresser.

Warnings :

- While the eye-contact test is a good way to gauge a person’s interest in you, it’s easy to misconstrue an innocent glance or, sometimes, a look of disgust for interest. Don’t shy away from trying to talk to the person, but don’t feel shocked or hurt if they don’t seem interested when you do.

- Don’t stare at the person. Brief eye contact can show you’re interested; staring can show you’re creepy.

- If you arrange to meet someone you’ve met on the bus or train, be safe. Meet in a very public place, and tell a friend or relative where you’re going.

- these tips may also work an a plane but be careful some people may not want to talk so accept it if they do not.

How to Say No Respectfully

Turning down a friendly request can take nerve, but it’s often necessary. When you can’t or don’t want to help out, get yourself together and kindly but firmly turn them down.

Steps :

1. Listen to the request respectfully. Do not interrupt the speaker.

2. Phrase your “no” as simply as possible. Don’t raise your voice or become upset, simply say that you cannot help this time. When you say no, say it in a confident, well modulated voice to sound more straightfoward.

3. Don’t feel obligated to explain. You have your reasons and they may not be ones you wish to discuss. If this is the case, try saying something like, “I’m just not able to.” Leave it at that – if you must, change the subject, or say, “I’m so sorry, but I need to go.”

4. Explain simply, and only if you wish to do so. If the case really is one that you feel okay explaining, make your explanation as simple as possible.

5. Stand firm. If the requestor does not want to accept your answer, tell him or her that your mind is made up and that you will not change it.

Tips :

- Be respectful. Even if the person asking isn’t.

- If your refusal upsets someone, remain calm and, if possible, remove yourself from the situation.

- Do not lie when you explain why your answer is no. For example, if you do not want to have your sister and brother-in-law stay at your house for the weekend because they are inconsiderate slobs, do not tell them that you will be fumigating the house. Instead, try, “This weekend isn’t a good time for us to have stay-over guests.” If they press, say, “We have a lot of shopping and cleaning to do to prepare for this next week, and we won’t do it if we have company.” Hopefully, that will end the discussion. And frankly, that’s probably the truth, isn’t it?

- This approach can be used for salespeople as well as friends. Telemarketers are human too.

- Preface your ‘NO’ by saying ‘I understand what you are saying’ before refusing – it helps if people feel empathy.

Warnings :

- If you feel you are at risk of physical harm, alert a third party as quickly as possible. If you can, call the local emergency number (usually one of the following: 911, 999, or 112).

How to Tell Someone NO!

When you find yourself in a situation with someone, who is attempting to pressure you to do something that you do not want to do, just say No. Do not concern yourself about hurting their feelings, do not worry that they will not want to see you again. Worry only about your own feelings, and thoughts. Do not ever allow yourself to be ‘talked’ into doing anything that you do not want to do!!

Steps :

1. Make eye contact. It is important that anyone seeing the interaction understands and believes that you are serious. Take a deep breath. Do not smile! Make them take you seriously!

2. Shout NO! loudly and with conviction. That should surprise the perpetrator enough to stop the current situation and give you time to explain or put distance between you.

3. Maintain eye contact. So they understand that you are serious and must deal with the situation.

4. Walk away immediately. Do not stick around to hear this person trying to convince you what he or she wanted to do was something you wanted also.

5. Say No, then GO. Unless the other person is instantly apologizing and assuring you he or she will not repeat the behavior, there is nothing left to say.

Tips :

- When you say No mean No. Make sure that your verbal signals are clear and precise. Never say “no” with a smile, or they will think you really are saying ‘yes’.

- Always follow though with your convictions. If you say no, then the answer is no, and must remain no until something changes.

- In romantic situations if there is no response to your loud and emphatic NO, and you can’t walk away, use the open palm of your hand to hit the offender in the nose with an upward motion; do not use a fist – an open hand is more effective. Regardless of what Hollywood would have you think, this will not kill him. It will give him a bloody (and possibly broken) nose.

- Remember that even though men generally don’t strike women, bad things have happened when a man feels you have “led him on” and then denied him something. He may feel humiliated and angry, and may become aggressive. Aggressive outbursts in these situations have occurred involving even extremely low-key and mellow men. If you have had to resort to physical force in order to stop a man from touching you when you have asked him to stop, it is a dangerous situation. It shows that he was already prepared to use force to get his way, and the pain may fuel his anger considerably.

- While it is taught that a man does not strike a woman, in certain dangerous situations, a man might be the one who is being assaulted and attacked. In a situation such as this, the man might have to use any means available to protect himself when saying ‘no’ is not enough.

- If you find you are engaged in a serious physical struggle and you fear that you will be injured seriously or raped, as odd as it seems, there are some over-the-top things you can try, which certainly couldn’t hurt: try acting crazy (shouting weird, nonsensical phrases, foaming at the mouth or drooling), throwing up if you can, peeing your pants, etc. It sounds bizarre, but if you can do something disgusting, it may shut down the physical struggle and give you time to escape. All’s fair in situations like this.

Warnings :

- Saying ‘NO’, and then acting coy, or smiling, will only give someone the idea that you really do not want him or her to stop! Do not give mixed signals.

- Remember the rhyme. Say NO then GO. Better not to fight or argue, just leave.

How to Make a Girl Become Obsessed With You

If you want to attract many girls, or just one of them, then follow these steps!

1. Be her hero: Whenever she is in trouble or worried about something, don’t just sit there with nothing to say. Acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers, and that you may not know exactly what she’s going through,

Ask her how you can help, but don’t insist that she let you. Be patient with anything she goes through and be supportive. When you can make a difference, do so without hesitation, but also cautiously, as you don’t want to hurt her in any way.

2.  Be calm: If you’re the kind of guy that gets sweaty and stutters his words when he’s around a girl, then just calm down. Girls don’t bite! Just be yourself.

3. Don’t lie about yourself: If you try to be emotional like in cheesy movies, then she’ll think you’re a freak.

4. Don’t fly too deep into the “friends zone”: Stop acting like you’re “just a friend” for too long or that’s exactly what you’ll always be.

5. Don’t rush: Give it time. This is where a lot of guys screw up. Don’t mistake her kindness for her liking you as more than a friend just yet. She will grow on you eventually.
- Make sure you know that she likes you more than just a friend, it can cause some sticky situations.

6. Care for your image: If you’re wearing solid colored t-shirts that you bought from Walmart that don’t even fit you, old worn out shoes that you mowed the lawn in 100 times, then you’re a total turn-off.

7. Be charming: You at least must have some kind of charm to appeal to a woman.
- Think of the leading men from old movies; It’s OK to watch them if it’s for research purposes.

8. Be witty: Girls love guys who are great in conversations. It is also a show-off of intelligence, part of subconscious evolutionary preference.
- If you don’t possess wit, make sure you have other things to show off your intelligence. Academic excellence, athletic achievement, or any kind of creative abilities whether artistic or literary will do. It could be mathematical, spatial, logical – analytical or just about anything to show that you have a highly developed brain.

9. Be as attractive as possible: This is a very important thing, accounting for 50% of preferences; above all other except when the person is sad, lonely, desperate and vulnerable. Remember that tall and lanky isn’t always what a girl looks for, but sometimes broad shoulders can mean a world of difference when she wants to feel safe and protected.

10. Try to be funny: This relaxes the girl. A person is more responsive and receptive to suggestions when relaxed. This is similar to being witty, but with higher importance. It helps you connect with her logically/intellectually. She will enjoy your company and won’t be bored. The girl will also think highly of you even though you’re not really that good.

11. Display intelligence and confidence: Women who are rich, successful and independent want someone who is an equal.

12. Be financially independent: Most of us aren’t blessed with wealth, but be able to pay your own way. Women don’t like freeloaders. Women want a man who can provide enough money to afford a life.

13. Be secure and reliable: Part of security is confidence but it really involves more than that. There are other security items like physique or intellect.

14. Don’t be too pushy: It’s a really bad turnoff to always be around her and touching her and flirting obnoxiously with her when she is NOT interested and has never shown any interest at all. Girls find it really annoying when a guy is like that.

15. Don’t flirt with other girls too much: a girl might really like you but if she sees you dancing or talking with another girl… she might think that you don’t like her and will probably stop liking you.

Tips :

- Have an excellent self-image, then be yourself.

-  Never use corny or strongly sexual pick-up lines unless you’ve known her for a long time and can joke about such things, only in jest!

- Don’t keep talking for hours, give her a chance to talk. More than that, let her do most of the talking. Make sure you do get to speak though like a quarter of the conversation so that will tell her that you’re not bored and paying attention.

- smell good! no matter if you’re ugly or weird, all girls will do a double take if you smell good!

Warnings :

- If a woman says she isn’t interested, back off. No means no!

- Also, if a woman doesn’t seem obsessed with you, don’t assume she is! Wait for the facts to show, because if you think she’s obsessed, and you act as most do, you may end up on your knees.