Sotsugyou, Soshite Miraihe – Monkey Majik

Say goodbye (samishiku wa nai) sariyuku hibi ni (hokoreru hibi)
Itoshiku (kamishimenagara) omoi wo haseru
Say goodbye (samishiku wa nai) arata na hibi ni (masshiro na hibi)
Ima bokura wa (mirai wo mune ni) omoi wo idaku

In my life you know it’s hard to say
That every single day i had to feel the pain but
Namida de sabisou ni nattara mabushii ano hi wo omoidasu yo
Kayoinareta itsumo no kono michi, kyou tabidatsu yo
Tooi mirai no fuan jyanai yo koraekirezu afurederu kimochi

We could stay close say no goodbyes
Keeping our ties and never unwind
Maybe tomorrow we can go out for a ride

We’re driving for miles there’s always smile
Your very first kiss remember those days
‘cause in my heart i know you’re close to me

I don’t wanna

Ikiru to iu no wa subarashii koto kanashimi tanoshimi tsui ni naru mono
Torokeru hodo masshiro na kyanbasu bokuiro ni someru tame arukidasu
Kono jinsei sono mono ga sakuhin hitotsu hitotsu kokoro ni jikakushi
Toki ni akubi shichau gurai rirakkusu shite boku wa boku no peesu de yukou
Wakuwaku wo tsumorase aidoringu joutai marude kotori no saezuri
Mitaku kibun odorase yuku yo doko made? ippo ippo otona e
Machiukeru no wa merodorama gekku mitaku hade jyanakute mo na
Boku ni totte taisetsu na hibi imi aru boku dake no michi

We could stay close say no goodbyes
Keeping our ties and never unwind
Maybe tomorrow we can go out for a ride

We’re driving for miles there’s always smile
Your very first kiss remember those days
‘cause in my heart i know you’re close to me

Woah!

And if i try
To make it all worthwhile
And all it takes
Is just to get up and run
I don’t think that i could ever see myself waiting
So flipping-a-whipping-a-flipping-a-gripping-a
…stop!

Don’t wanna

Zutto wasurenai yo tomo ni sugoshita
Just bring it down
I’m not gonna stop livin’ my life to the top
Your memory’s all that i got
I’ve been dreaming
This time would come
And make it all worthwhile
Won’t let you down
Take my hand let’s get out

We could stay close say no goodbyes
Keeping our ties and never unwind
Maybe tomorrow we can go out for a ride

We’re driving for miles there’s always smile
Your very first kiss remember those days
‘cause in my heart i know you’re close to me

I don’t wanna

Fly – Monkey Majik

Leaving on that 7:30 train, I don’t how far I’ll go.
Round in circles just as long I would tell you, I am alone but
we could be.
Tell me something I haven’t heard before, except for when you
shut me down.
Remember when we stayed up all night drinking whiskey.
I know that you’ve been waiting.
I’ll see you on the other side.

Oh! We’re better off alone, I told you once before,
so don’t knock on my door, you’ll see it if you will,
but I don’t wanna know.
I’m feeling so resentful.

I wanna fly
Fly me up so high
Take me to the skies
I won’t get by
Itsu made mo kimi no koe ga boku no kokoro de hibiku
If you can’t believe me take me home

Kimi no tiisa na te wo semete ato sukoshi
Tsuyoku nigiri shimete itanara
yukkuri ashita wo materareta noni
namida no wake shiteita kedo ima dewa mou ososugiru kara
sore wa sugi yuku keshiki no youni

I wanna fly
Fly me up so high
Take me to the skies
I won’t get by
Itsu made mo kimi no koe wa boku no miti ni aru sa
If you can’t believe me take me home

Everybody’s talkink always up and groovin’ come on up and join
up with me yeah!
Always on and dancin’ always on the move and, come on everybody
won’t you come with me?

cause I wanna fly
Fly me up so high
Take me to the skies
I won’t get by
Everybody needs to go beyond the seas
If you can’t believe me take me home

cause I wanna fly, I wanna fly,
take me high. cause I wanna fly,
I wanna fly, take me high!

I wanna fly
Fly me up so high
Take me to the skies
I won’t get by
Itsu made mo kimi no koe wa boku no miti ni aru sa
If you can’t believe me take me home

Beauty of Math

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

0 x 9 + 1 = 1
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn’t it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Now, take a look at this…

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help answer these
questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
let you there, It’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Redneck Medical Dictionary

Artery = The study of paintings.
Bacteria = Back door to cafeteria.
Barium = What doctors do when patients die.
Benign = What you be after you be eight.
Catscan = Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize = Made eye contact with her.
Cesarean = Section A neighborhood in Rome.
Colic = A sheep dog.
Coma = A punctuation mark.
D&C = Where Washington is.
Dilate = To live long.
Enema = Not a friend.
Fester = Quicker than someone else.
Fibula = A small lie.
Genital = Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series = World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail = What you hang your coat on.
Impotent = Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain = Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff = A Doctor’s cane.
Morbid = A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates = Cheaper than day rates.
Node = I knew it.
Outpatient = A person who has fainted.
Ovaries = You get to try again.
Pap Smear = A fatherhood test.
Pelvis = Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative = A letter carrier.
Recovery Room = Place to do upholstery.
Rectum = Pretty near killed him.
Secretion = Hiding something.
Seizure = Roman emperor.
Tablet = A small table.
Terminal = Illness Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor = More than one.
Urine = Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose = Near by/close by.

Blonde Patient In Pain

A girl says to her doctor, “You have to help me. I hurt all over.”

She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, “Ow! That hurts.”

She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, “Ouch! That hurts, too.”

She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, “Ow! Even that hurts.”

The doctor says, “Are you a natural blonde?”

She replied, “Yes.”

The doctor says, “You have a sprained finger.”

Bad and Worse News

Doctor: I have some bad news and some worse news.

Patient: Ouch… I suppose you might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called back with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s horrible! Oh My God! WHAT could be WORSE than that?

Doctor: Well, I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.

New Age Doctor

A woman, after trying everyting and having perhaps worst chronic headache ever, goes to a famous “new age” holistic doctor as a last resort. “Doctor, I have tried everything, but my headache just won’t go away.”

“The doctor replied, “You have come to the right place. This is what I want you to do: go home, stare at yourself in the mirror, point your index fingers at your temples, and repeat this mantra: “I really don’t have a headache, I really don’t have a headache”.

“Do it as long as it takes, the headache will eventually vanish.”

As she leaves the doctor’s office, skeptical but curious at the same time, she tries the maneuver in front of the mirror in the elevator. Fingers pointed at her temples, she starts repeating “I really don’t have a headache, I really don’t have a headache…”. She had barely said it four times when she realized her headache was gone. Shocked and elated, she runs back up to the doctor.

“Doctor, you are a genius! Can I please send you my husband? He’s been having problems in a certain department… how can I put it… ”

“When was the last time you two had sex?”

“About eight years ago.”

“Send him over.”

A few days later, she is waiting with baited breath for her husband to come home from the doctor. He arrives, asks her to wait, and goes straight to the bathroom. When he comes out, he throws her on the couch and starts making wild passionate love to her, when he’s finished, he goes right back to the bathroom.

A few minutes later he comes out, rouses her from her bliss and starts at it again, like an insatiable young man. After another hour of great sex he goes and locks himself in the bathroom again.

At this point the wife had become unbearably curious. She tiptoes to the bathroom door, looks through the keyhole, and sees her husband, staring at himself in the mirror, fingers pointed at his temples, repeating:

“That woman is not my wife, that woman is not my wife…..”

Anything For Love

A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.

His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.

Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice.

“Doctor, I can’t seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can’t satisfy her. What can I do?”

The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, “Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you’ll find that you’ll last longer and ultimately satisfy her.”

“Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help.”

Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at work to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front door when he arrived home.

“Be prepared, my darling. I’m going to ravish you,” she cooed over the phone.

Undaunted, the man decided to follow the doctor’s advice. But where? In the office? The Xerox room? What if someone walked in on him?

He got in his truck and began the journey home. Soon he decided he would find a spot on the road to pull over, climb underneath the truck and pretend to be inspecting the rear axle, and do the deed there.

A moment later, he pulled over, crawled beneath the truck, closed his eyes tightly, fantasized about his young wife, and began his “therapy”.

A few minutes later, just as he was about to complete his therapy session, he felt someone tugging on his pants leg. Keeping his eyes tightly shut to avoid ruining the fantasy he was enjoying, he said, “Yes?”

“Sir, I’m with the Police Department. Could you tell me what you are doing, please?” said the officer.

“Yes, officer, I’m inspecting my truck’s rear axle,” he replied confidently.

“Well, why don’t you check the brakes while you’re down there. Your truck rolled down the hill a few minutes ago.”

A Midget Down In Texas

There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method used to check for a hernia.

“Aha!” mumbled the doc and, as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.

“Aha!” said the doctor again, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.

The doctor said, “How does that feel now?” The midget replied, “Perfect Doc, and I didn’t even feel it. What did you do?”

The doctor replied, “I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.”

The Delivery

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they arrived home, the mailman was dead on their porch.